Consent
Teaching Kids About Consent
Teaching consent to children helps them understand body autonomy, develop healthy boundaries, and build respectful relationships throughout their lives.
Why Teach Consent Early?
Open conversation in our homes, in our learning spaces, and in our communities about sex, healthy relationships and sexualized assault is how we start to turn the tide.
When young people feel safe and comfortable asking questions about sex and relationships it becomes easier for them to find safe and accurate information instead of experimenting in the dark.
Teaching consent from an early age helps children understand that their bodies belong to them, that they have the right to say no, and that they must respect others' boundaries too.
1 in 10
teens experience dating violence
43%
of dating violence victims are 15-24
Higher Risk
for 2SLGBTQIA+ youth
Children Learn by Watching
Children especially learn by imitation; by watching and listening to the behaviours of others. This is sometimes called "observational learning."
Because they observe and learn from what you do, modelling consent is one of the most effective ways to teach it.
Example: Bath Time
Ask for permission to help wash your child's body. Keep it upbeat and always honour the child's request to not be touched.
"Can I wash your back now? How about your feet? How about your bottom?"
If the child says "no": Hand them the washcloth and say, "Cool! Your booty needs a wash. Go for it."
Age-Appropriate Guidance
Toddlers & Preschoolers
Key Concepts
- Use proper names for body parts
- Teach 'private parts' are covered by swimsuit
- Practice asking before hugs or touches
- Model saying 'no' and respecting 'no'
- Read age-appropriate books about bodies
Helpful Phrases
"Your body belongs to you"
"It's okay to say no to hugs"
"Let's ask before we touch"
Early Elementary
Key Concepts
- Expand on body autonomy discussions
- Discuss safe vs. unsafe touches
- Teach about trusted adults
- Practice boundary-setting scenarios
- Talk about secrets vs. surprises
Helpful Phrases
"If something feels wrong, tell a trusted adult"
"Your feelings matter"
"No one should ask you to keep unsafe secrets"
Pre-Teens
Key Concepts
- Discuss consent in friendships
- Talk about peer pressure
- Introduce online safety and consent
- Discuss changes happening to their bodies
- Teach about respecting others' boundaries
Helpful Phrases
"Consent applies to all relationships"
"You can always change your mind"
"Being a good friend means respecting limits"
Teenagers
Key Concepts
- Discuss consent in romantic relationships
- Talk about healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
- Address digital consent and sharing images
- Discuss alcohol, drugs, and consent
- Emphasize ongoing, enthusiastic consent
Helpful Phrases
"Only yes means yes"
"Check in with your partner"
"Consent cannot be given if someone is impaired"
Tips for Parents & Caregivers
Start Early
Consent education begins with toddlers learning about body autonomy. Age-appropriate conversations build on each other over time.
Use Everyday Moments
Use daily situations to practice consent—asking before hugging, respecting when they don't want to share, letting them choose.
Model Consent
Children learn by watching. Model asking permission, respecting 'no,' and checking in with others.
Be Approachable
Create an environment where children feel safe asking questions. Stay calm and non-judgmental.
Use Correct Terms
Using proper names for body parts helps children communicate clearly and reduces shame.
Common Scenarios
"Grandma wants a hug goodbye"
If your child doesn't want to hug, don't force them. Offer alternatives: "Would you like to give a high-five or blow a kiss instead?" This teaches that their comfort matters and there are other ways to show affection.
"Can I see your picture?"
When your child doesn't want to share their artwork, respect that. "That's okay, it's your drawing. Thank you for telling me." This reinforces that they can say no and be heard.
Tickling and roughhousing
Always stop when they say stop—even if they're laughing. "When you say stop, I stop right away. Your words matter." This teaches that consent can be withdrawn at any time.
Let's empower young people with the right to say No, to listen to their own bodies, and to respect others when they say No.
Continue Learning
Explore more resources on consent and how to practice it in everyday situations with children and adults alike.